


The Times They Are A Changin'

by lewispanda



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Background Luke Garroway/Maryse Lightwood, Background Maia Roberts/Jace Wayland, Cooking, Downworlder Dad Magnus Bane, Downworlder Politics, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Internalized Acephobia, Love Confessions, Memory Loss, References to Depression, Sibling Love, izzy being scared she killed someone and can't remember it, max and izzy are parabatai, max is older, vampire!Izzy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 05:39:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17258564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lewispanda/pseuds/lewispanda
Summary: Isabelle Lightwood has been missing for a month, and when she's finally found she can't remember what has happened to her. One thing is certain - she's no longer a Shadowhunter.





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [EquusGirl0621](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EquusGirl0621/gifts).



> A canon-divergent Rizzy story. Basically, none of their canon interactions ever happened.
> 
> This story was written for the ByTheAngelDaily Holiday Gift Exchange. I'm sooo grateful that I got assigned to a person who likes Rizzy - working on this fic reminded me how much some of their interactions mean to me.
> 
> I would like to thank my beta - @yellow_craion. <3 She's an amazing person, and writes great stories (go and check them out).

She woke up dizzy and disoriented, not knowing where she was and what day it was. It was dark, and she was lying on grass, no living soul anywhere near her. The ground under her was damp, and she could feel that some of the wetness had already soaked through her clothes, the fabric clinging uncomfortably to her body. 

 

Izzy reached out to touch her head and check for any possible injuries. She didn’t feel any pain, but she knew it wasn’t an indicator that she wasn’t bleeding anywhere - years of going on missions had taught her more about injuries than any book ever could. Her eyes needed a moment to focus, but once they did, she saw that her hand had come out clean, no traces of blood to be seen.

 

The next thing she did was to sit up slowly and take a look around. There were a few trees and benches, scattered all over the grass, and something that looked like a path. Her brain still felt slow and foggy, but was clear enough to process those pieces of information, and tell her that she was probably in a park - or some private property. If it was a forest, it was a rather odd one.

 

Something small and black was lying on the grass close to her, and she tentatively reached for the object - careful, in case of any possible injuries. The weight of the object was familiar and brought her a sense of comfort, and she sighed in relief once she realised it was her phone. The screen looked to be broken, but it still worked, so she unlocked the screen and opened the contact list, to dial the first number under the letter A.

 

“Alec?” Her voice broke down when she said his name, and she started to cry. The voice on the other end of the line went from distressed to calming, as she sobbed, uncontrillingly. Izzy’s mind registered that someone else must had taken the phone from Alec, because a familiar female voice was suddenly coming through the speakers.

 

“Izzy? It’s going to be okay, sweetie. Can you tell us where you are?” Izzy’s hand was shaking, and she almost dropped her phone. “Jace! Max! Try to track her phone! Izzy? We will find you soon, okay? Just stay with me. Focus on my voice, okay?” She nodded, even though the woman couldn’t see her. “Your brothers and I will get to you soon. You don’t have to worry about anything. We’ll get Luke’s police car, or my car, if we need to be discreet, and we will bring you home.”

 

“Mom?” Izzy’s voice broke again, recognising Maryse at the other end. The older woman almost sobbed in relief, hearing her voice. 

 

“Yes, it’s me. I won’t let anyone hurt you, okay? Do you know where you are?” Her mother asked, calmly. Jace, Max and Luke were trying to localize Izzy’s phone, but maybe she could get the information that could help find Izzy from her daughter herself. She had no idea where Isabelle was, or what condition she was in, and every second could be precious.

 

“I don’t know mom. I’m sorry, I don’t know.” Izzy said through tears, shaking her head vigorously. The movement only made her feel nauseous, so she stopped and held onto her pounding head with one hand.

 

She couldn’t remember the last time she had cried that much.

 

“It’s okay, sweetie. Can you see anything around you?” Maryse tried again, calmly. She herself was seconds away from breaking down, but she knew she had to keep strong for her Isabelle. Nothing during her shadowhunter training had prepared her for this, for how she felt as if her heart was breaking into hundreds of pieces - first, when she heard Isabelle had gone missing, and again now, when she heard her cry, not knowing where she was and if she was hurt.

 

Izzy wiped her eyes with her sleeve, then spoke again. “Trees. I think it’s a park. There are benches and trees, and…” A loud sob wrecked her body and she leaned forward, wrapping her arm around her frame.

 

“We got her!” Someone shouted in the background, and Maryse sighed in relief.

 

“We are going to get you. Are you hurt?” 

 

Izzy moved her legs slowly, to check for any broken bones. “I don’t think so. I just want to go home.”

 

“You will, soon. I promise.” More shouts could be heard through the line, someone saying they grabbed the first aid kit, and another person informing they have the car keys. “Just stay with me, okay? I will talk to you all the time.” Maryse informed her.

 

Izzy had no idea how much time had passed, when she finally heard Max’s voice, louder and more clear than her mom’s that had been coming through telephone’ speakers. “Over here!” She shouted weakly, her throat dry and sore. 

 

Jace was the first person that spotted her, and run up to her, Luke and Max following close behind. She could see all three of them stopping in their tracks when they got close, and look at her with shock written on their faces. 

 

“Why are you standing here?” Alec’s voice broke the silence, and spurred Jace into action - he knelt down next to Izzy, and hastily checked for any injuries, then wrapped a huge blanket around her, and lifted her up. During that time, Maryse managed to find them, and there was something in her gaze that made Izzy scared again - a sadness, pity, something she couldn’t quite name. Alec and Luke exchanged a look between them, but before Izzy could ask them what was going on, Jace began to walk towards the car.

 

“We’ll get you to the Infirmary soon. Don’t worry.” He held her closer his his chest, and she wrapped her arms around his neck in return. She was so relieved that they were finally there, that she didn’t feel him tense.

 

They were the first ones to reach the car, and Jace clearly didn’t have the keys on him, because they had to wait for the rest to catch up to them. Luke opened the backdoor for them, so Jace could position Izzy gently on the back seat, then climb in after her. Luke took the place behind the wheel, with Alec occupying the passenger seat and Maryse sitting on Izzy’s left. Alec was vigorously texting on his phone, as Luke started the car.

 

“Max?” Izzy asked, seeing that her parabatai wasn’t there.

 

“There isn’t enough space for him in the car. Don’t worry, he’ll walk.” Maryse tried to give Izzy a reassuring smile, but her daughter could see right through it - something was wrong, and no one was telling her what it was.

 

“We can’t go to the Institute. Mom, do you have the keys to your place?” Alec asked, looking at the Maryse in the rear-view mirror. Jace opened his mouth, about to protest, but his brother just shook his head.

 

“Yes, I have them.” Maryse replied, glancing briefly at Izzy.

 

“Why are we not going back home?” Isabelle asked, trying to catch Alec’s eye. When it became clear he wouldn’t look at her, she turned to her left instead. “Mom?” 

 

She reached for Izzy’s hands, and grasped them tightly. “Honey. What do you remember from the time when you were gone?”

 

Izzy looked at Maryse, confused. “...how much time have passed?”

 

They could all hear Alec cursing loudly in the passenger seat. Jace put a reassuring hand on his shoulder, and squeezed it. Their parabatai bond meant he didn’t need to do so to comfort him, but the very human act of touching was capable of conveying a lot. Ever since Alec, Jace and Izzy were little kids, they liked to cuddle together, or sit close so their bodies were touching, and that didn’t change after Alec and Jace had become parabatai.

 

Parabatai.

 

Isabelle pulled one of her hands out of Maryse’ grasp, and touched the place where her own parabatai rune should be. The constant presence of Max that had been there for years was suddenly gone, and she couldn’t believe she hadn’t realised it sooner.

 

“Breathe.” Jace told her, as she began to hyperventilate. They were already parked under the the complex where Maryse lived, but no one dared to move out of the car, all four sets of eyes glued to Izzy as her mind tried to make sense of everything.

 

“Everything is going to be okay.” Alec tried to reassure his sister, as she was leaning back against Jace, but that phrase was only making Izzy more worried. What had happened to her? How long was she gone? Why couldn’t she feel Max? Led by a hunch, she rolled up her sleeve.

 

All her runes were gone.

 

“I think we should get her inside.” Luke suggested, and the Lightwoods nodded silently. Maryse hesitated, not wanting to leave her daughter alone, but Jace told her that they would catch up with her soon. He and Alec helped Izzy out of the car, then up the stairs, as she stared blankly at her arm. 

 

Later, she wouldn’t even remember how she had found himself on a red couch, squeezed between Jace and Max, as Alec paced around the room.

 

“Hey.” Max reached for Isabelle’s bare arm, and covered the place where a rune used to be with his hands. “Don’t even think about it.” He pulled down her sleeve, then pulled her into a hug. They could both hear a loud inhale coming from someone, and the room seemed to held their breath. “The only thing that matters is that you are okay.”

 

“What happened, Max? I can’t remember anything.” Izzy whispered, still clinging tightly to her parabatai. He leaned back in her embrace and cupped a side of her face.

 

“Let me just.” He reached into his pocket and took out his phone, then opened the front camera and showed it into Izzy’s hands.

 

The sharp teeth stood out, even against her pale lips.

 

“No.” Isabelle handed her brother his phone back, shaking her head and trying to get away from the cursed object. Her back met with Jace’s chest, and the blonde once again held her close. “No, it can’t be. I wasn’t gone for long. I don’t feel the thirst. You don’t look scared.”

 

“Izzy.” Maryse stood up from the armchair she had been occupying, to kneel in front of her daughter. “Sweetie, you were gone for over a month. We have searched all the continents, looking for you, even long after Max lost his parabatai rune. We couldn’t trace you, couldn’t find you anywhere.”

 

“No. I can’t be…” She couldn’t even say that word. A vampire. 

 

“We will find whoever did this to you.” The anger was clear in Alec’s voice. “They must have kept you for long, because you seem to do well around...yeah.” He cleared his throat, looking embarrassed at being unable to talk about this. Alec felt responsible for it - he was Izzy’s older brother, the Head of the NY Institute. He hadn’t made sure she was safe, and it costed her everything. “Do you remember anything from that time?” 

 

She shook her head, and he pressed his lips together, clearly hoping to get some answers. To held whoever had done this accountable.

 

“On my way here I called Raphael. He should be here soon.” Max spoke again. Alec nodded wordlessly, his head clearly somewhere else, but Izzy wasn’t as calm about it as her brothers were.

 

“Raphael? The clan leader?” She has barely met that man in her life, maybe interacting with him a handful of times over the years. Did them calling him mean they want to put her in Hotel Dumort?

 

As if reading her mind, Max reacher for her hand again. “He’s only coming here to give us some insight. Him and Alec will lead a joined investigation on what had happened to you.” Ever since Alec had become the Head if the Institute, things had begun to change. He opened a dialogue with the Downworlders, that hadn’t been there before, and tried to fix the mistakes of the past by treating Downworlders as Shadowhunters’ equals. “Plus, you do need to eat something, eventually.” 

 

Izzy shook her head again - it seemed to be a constant theme of the last hour or so. “I don’t feel thirsty.”

 

Just as she said those words, the doorbell rang. Alec went to open the door, since he was the only one standing. A quiet exchange of ‘hello’s’ and pleasantries could be heard from the hallway, then the two men joined the group.

 

Instead of greeting the people present in the room, Raphael scolded at the windows. “There are still two hours till the Dawn, but shutting the curtains never hurt anyone.”

 

Maryse stood up, embarrassed that they have forgotten about it, and shut the blinds then drew the curtains in the room. At that sight, Izzy seemed to shrink onto herself, wrapping the blanket tighter around her body.

 

“Hello.” Raphael directed those words at Izzy, and walked up to her with a soft smile. “I’m Raphael Santiago. The leader of a vampire clan.”

 

“I know who you are.” He seemed surprised by her words, but quickly covered it with another smile.  _ A true diplomat _ , she thought briefly. “I’m Isabelle Lightwood. We have met.”

 

“We have, indeed.” the vampire replied.

 

Jace stood up to make space on the couch, and Raphael motioned towards the empty spot. “Mind if I sit down.”

 

“No, not at all.” Izzy scooted closer to Max, both for comfort and to make more space. She wasn’t afraid of the vampire, but she needed her parabatai’ strength to help her get through whatever was happening. Could she even still call her little brother her parabatai? Even without looking, she knew the rune was gone, and she wasn’t even a Shadowhunter anymore.

 

All that thinking made her dizzy again, so she focused on the present conversation instead.

 

“Do you remember what happened?” Raphael asked.

 

She was tired of that question. No, she did not remember what had happened to her. She had no idea a whole month had passed, she didn’t even remember being kidnapped, she didn’t remember  _ anything _ .

 

Sensing her growing frustration, Raphael decided to approach everything differently.

 

“How are you feeling right now?” Every member of the Lightwood-Garroway family was listening in to the conversation, and suddenly, Izzy was very aware of that. She shifted in her seat, and looked down at her hands.

 

“Luke, Jace? Could you help me with dinner?” Maryse asked softly, and Isabelle sent her mom a grateful look. Once the three of them were out of the room, she felt as if she could breathe more easily. Alec took up the chair previously occupied by mom, leaning forward and trying to take in every word, to find all the information that could help him catch whoever had hurt his sister. He was in what the Lightwood siblings jokingly called the ‘leader mode’, but seeing him like that right now was oddly reassuring. Izzy felt as if everything would be okay.

 

“Isabelle?” Raphael asked softly, bringing her attention back to him.

 

“Right. I feel…” She bit her lip, taking a moment to think about how she felt. “I don’t feel anything. I can’t feel Max through our bond.” Her younger brother squeezed her hand again, to tell her he was still there, with her. “I’m not in pain. Should I be?” she asked.

 

“No, unless someone has hurt you.” Raphael smiled encouragingly at her, and she could feel the corners of her mouth going up as well. He was...gentle and kind. Not like in the rumors she had heard. People talked that the Clan Leader was a grumpy man, scoffing at others all day and rolling his eyes. But, here he was, smiling, even though she could see the shadows under his eyes.

 

Maybe those were just a vampire trait, and not a sign of tiredness.

 

“I...don’t want to eat.” To say that she didn’t feel thirsty at all would be a lie. Her throat was still dry, and as much as she would like to lie to herself and state it was because she has spend some time laying on a wet grass in the park, the truth was, she was starting to get hungry. And it was scaring her.

 

“You will have to drink something, sooner or later.” Raphael’s tone became very businesslike. “I know that it can be quite a shock, at first, but you get used to it. It gets easier.”

 

She didn’t want it to ‘get easier’. She wanted to avoid it altogether. Until she would have to drink blood, she could still pretend everything was the same as it used to be. That she was still alive, a shadowhunter, and could get back to her home anytime she wanted. That she could walk in a sunlight and enjoy mom’s home-cooked meals. When she closed her eyes, she could almost feel Max at the back of her head again.

 

Almost.

 

“Isabelle.” Raphael glanced briefly towards Alec, and the man stared right back at him. After a short moment, though, he stood up, resigned, and went to join his family in the kitchen. Alec respected the vampire - he was just worried about his sister. One glance at Izzy and Max, though, told Raphael that Max would be staying for the entire conversation. “You need to eat. We can’t control whether or not we drink blood.” Raphael knew, that the more he would repeat that phrase, the sooner Isabelle would get used to it. “But we can control how and when we drink it. The more hungry you get, the less control you have.” Max had updated Raphael on everything they had known - how long Izzy had been missing and when had his parabatai rune disappeared. She was around a month old, so controlling her thirst wasn’t impossible, but the way she restrained herself from attacking others made Raphael realise that someone must have led her through the transition - and he wondered who could it be. “I brought you some blood. It’s easier when you pour it into a mug, and treat it as any other drink.” Izzy made a disgusted face, but Raphael was a no stranger to such reactions, so he didn’t feel offended.

 

“He’s right, Izzy.” Alec’s voice could be heard from the doorway, and Raphael fought hard to keep his expression neutral. Alec may be a progressive guy, but he still had no idea what it was to be a vampire. No matter what the Lightwoods believed, Raphael wasn’t doing them a favour - he was looking out for a young vampire. A possible future member of his Clan. 

 

Alec then addressed Raphael. “I will tell at the Institute that we haven’t yet found her. Or, that I sent her on another mission. Whatever they will believe in more.” He was playing with his hands, probably not aware he was showing just how stressed he was. “We need to find out what happened first, before we let them know. We can’t…” Alec was lost for words.

 

“It would be best if Isabelle stayed at the Dumort. No one would look for her there, and she would have all our resources at hand.” All the blood, all the vampires that had gone through the same thing. Everything she would need.

 

“No.” Izzy’s voice came out firm. “I’m staying here. I’m not going anywhere.” She looked straight at Raphael. 

 

He, in turn, looked back at her, trying to guess whether there was any room for negotiations. Not tonight, he had decided.

 

“Very well. I will come back tomorrow, to check on you.” He had things to do, but he didn’t trust anyone else to handle such a delicate situation - after all, not every day the sister of the Head of the Institute has been turned.


	2. Week 1

The first visit hadn’t been a successful one, by Raphael’s standards. Izzy had been quiet most of the time, staring at one spot on the rug in the living room. Alec had been there as well, looking tired yet eager to do  _ something _ to help. Maryse had been trying to be a good host and had made small talk, but the atmosphere in the room had been very tense and awkward.

 

Raphael had waited a few days, before going there again. Both Izzy and Maryse had his number, in case of emergencies, and he had left them more than enough blood during his first visit - he just didn’t feel like dealing with all of this on a daily basis.

 

This time Isabelle was the one to answer the door for him.

 

“Hi.” She greeted him, then opened the door wider, so he could come in. “Mom is asleep, and Luke is having a night shift. If you don’t mind, I won’t wake her up.”

 

“No, not at all.” Raphael replied. The former shadowhunter led him to a small kitchen, and both of them sat by a tiny table. The room still smelled faintly of blood - Izzy had had to drink some not long ago. 

 

“Would you like anything to drink?” She asked politely, obviously ignoring that both of them only fed on blood. 

 

“No, thank you.” Raphael declined, just as polite. 

 

“How have you been?” Izzy asked, making small talk. It was a promising sign, considering how apathetic she had been the last time he had been there.

 

“I’ve been good, thank you for asking. And how are you?” Raphael hoped he would get some insight on how Isabelle had been, but she only replied with a short ‘Good’, before silence filled the room. 

 

So, he decided to take in how she looked instead, hoping it would tell him something.

 

Izzy looked pale, but it was to be expected - she could no longer go out during the day. She was wearing an oversized sweater that completely swallowed her frame, and made her look tiny and delicate - even though Raphael was aware she could kick his ass, because of her training. She wasn’t hunched and didn’t cross her arms in a protective manner, yet avoiding Raphael’s gaze gave away how nervous she was feeling. She looked the complete opposite of the woman he had seen at the Institute all those months ago.

 

“Have you been staying inside, for the entire time?” His question made her raise an eyebrow, as if she was asking him ‘Really? You know I can’t exactly sunbathe.’, and the corner of his lips went up seeing that. “You can always go out during night. It’s not dangerous for the vampires.”

 

Isabelle visibly flinched at that word, but tried to cover it with a shrug. “Didn’t feel like bumping into anyone, you know?” The phrasing came out awkward, because she both wanted to share with him, and didn’t want to open up to him. 

 

But he understood.

 

“This building looks like one of those that has access to the roof. Want me to check it out?” He asked.

 

“I’ll come with you.” Izzy replied, standing up and going straight to the door. She grabbed the keys then led them outside, not even waiting for him to catch up. He gave her an out, a way to help with the cabin fever she had been feeling, and she didn’t want to waste any second.

 

The staircase indeed led to the roof, and the double doors were unlocked. Izzy wedged a package of tissues between the door and the frame, just in case, then walked up closer to the edge of the building to admire the city lights. 

 

“I missed them.” She admitted quietly. Raphael had barely caught it, still standing by the door, so he decided to walk up to her to hear her better. 

 

He stopped two feet away from her as to not crowd her. He knew he was a stranger, so he didn’t want to make her uncomfortable by standing too close; he also wanted to give her room to breathe, to let her enjoy the space to the full, no longer restricted by four walls.

 

Isabelle closed her eyes, took a deep breath, then tilted her head up to look at the sky. She opened them slowly, barely seeing any stars because of the light pollution. The familiar feeling of disappointment made her feel alive again, and she began to giggle, startling her companion.

 

“I’m sorry. Don’t mind me.” She apologised, tucking a streak of hair behind her ear. “It’s just...been a while.”

 

“No need to apologise.” Raphael replied. 

 

Both of them fell silent again, but this time the silence was comfortable.They were just two people, looking at the nightlife of the New York City and enjoying a moment of peace.

 

Izzy was the one to break the silence.

 

“Few know that some nights, I would go out just to look at the view of the city, or admire the few visible stars. It made me feel at peace, especially after long days filled with examining the bodies.” 

 

Raphael’s gaze held a question he didn’t know he could voice, but Izzy saw it, and decided to answer.

 

“I was a forensic pathologist at the Institute. One of the best ones in New York, if you ask my brothers.” Her voice was teasing, but the pride that came from knowing she was good - and appreciated for her skills - was clear in her voice. “I love science, loved it since I was a little girl. I would sometimes skip the boring classes, just to sneak to the library and pull out thick volumes about anatomy or chemistry. I loved how everything in science made sense, and if it didn’t, it was only because we haven’t yet found out certain things. Science had tools to analyse everything, to explain everything, and to predict what would happen.” 

 

“Once I have proven to my parents that it could teach me useful skills, and the Institute could benefit from it, they allowed me to study it and hang around the forensic pathologist we had.” She frowned, suddenly. “No, that didn’t sound quite right. They knew it was a useful skill, just had other plans for their children. But, enough about that.” Izzy ended, feeling as if she had said too much.

 

Raphael accepted the end of that topic, and decided to try his initial question again. “How are you?”

 

Isabelle hesitated briefly, before replying. “I know they are scared. All except Max. Don’t get me wrong - they all offered to hug me multiple times, and I did hug them once or twice, but I can feel them tensing when my face gets too close to their necks. They don’t know whether I can control myself and, frankly, I don’t know either. The whole time, I am aware that they’re full of blood that I want to drink, and I’m living in a constant fear that any given moment I may attack them.” 

 

He wished he could tell her it wouldn’t happen, but he couldn’t be sure. She seemed to be in control of her actions, as if she had been taught by someone how to control her thirst, but he didn’t know the extension of her self-restraint - what if anyone near her cuts themself? Or, maybe she wouldn’t even need that - maybe she would indeed snap randomly, attacking the person closest to her. No one knew what had happened during the past month, and what Izzy was capable, or incapable, of.

 

“If your offer still stands, I think it would be the best for me to live at Dumort. There, at least, I am not putting them in danger.” She continued. “I’m different. I no longer fit here. With them.” Her last words were barely audible.

 

“Isabelle.” He said, to bring her attention back to him. “I won’t lie to you.” 

 

She visibly shrunk onto herself, bracing herself to hear everything he had to say, and preparing for the worse.

 

“I know your family wants the best for you. I may not know them well, but it’s clear they love you very much, and care for your well-being.”

 

Izzy wasn’t expecting that, so she looked at him, surprised.

 

“They already know about the shadow world. They don’t hate you, or find you disgusting.” She was very lucky, having a family that knew about angels and demons, and everything in-between. Few ever had such luck, and Raphael certainly wasn’t one of them. “They accepted you back to their family. I’m not going to tell you that your life will be the same. Because it won’t be.” He could tell her a long list of the big and small things that would change - but he knew she was already aware of that, and going that path would only make her feel much worse. They would have time for that conversation - a whole eternity. “You will have to unlearn old things, and learn the new ones. You will have to accept new rules in your life. But, no matter what happens, you will never lose them like that.” 

 

He had a feeling she needed to hear it from someone. 

 

“I think that going to Dumort is a good idea, but not only because no one can know what would happen, if you stay with them. I admire that you want to do it for them, that you care about them. Family is very important. All the vampires at Dumort are more than my friends - they are my family, and I hope that one day they will also become yours.” Their eyes met again, and something akin to understanding passed between them. They were similar not only because they were both vampires, but also because of their love for their families. “But I also want you to do it for yourself. When your life changes drastically, it’s easy to forget about oneself, and get lost in a chaos. At Dumort you’ll be surrounded by those who have gone through the same thing as you. They can answer your questions and teach you a lot about being a vampire. You will also have all our resources at hand - I hope you didn’t think we only store blood and art in there.” He smiled softly, and she smiled back at him.

 

“I’ll talk with them tomorrow.” Izzy told him. “I have a feeling some would be harder to convince than others, but it’s my choice, and I know they will accept it. Will they be able to visit me there?” She asked.

 

Raphael took a moment to ponder over a diplomatic answer to that. “I think we could make some arrangements. I’m not trying to isolate you from them, by any means - it’s just that centuries of history could never be completely erased by a few years of relative peace.” She looked surprised by what he had said, but nodded, accepting his explanation. Raphael knew that soon she would - sadly - become familiar with what it was like to be on the receiving end of Shadowhunters’...disapproval. “But, I have to give your brother some credit - things indeed have changed.”

 

“I’m so proud of him.” Izzy commented, looking at the lights of the city once more.

 

“I don’t want you to feel trapped at Dumort - you are free to come and go however you please. I would recommend that someone accompanies you whenever you are outside, because we don’t know yet the extent of your self-control. But, unless you show signs of being violent or wanting to hurt anyone, you are a free person.” Raphael explained.

 

“Not sure I have a place to go.” She replied. “Everyone at the Institute still thinks I’m missing, so I can’t go back there or show my face around town. And, at least for some time, I should also refrain from visiting mom and Luke. She has been staying up till early hours of the dawn, to keep me company. Today, after work, she has fallen asleep on the couch right after coming back. I moved her to her bed so she’s more comfortable.” Izzy explained. “She deserves some rest.”

 

“I have a feeling she will always welcome you here, though. They all will.” Raphael said. 

 

She smiled at him gratefully. Everything in her life had indeed changed drastically, and the fear of possibly losing her family as well was just too much - Isabelle welcomed all the assurance she could get, that it wouldn’t happen.

 

“Just text me whenever you want me to pick you up. There will be a room waiting for you.”

 

“Thank you.” She replied, then looked back at the stars.


	3. Week 2

Raphael knocked gently on Izzy’s door.

 

“Isabelle?” 

 

He had heard from his fellow clan members that Izzy had barely left her room in the past 10 days. She had gone downstairs to get some blood, and exchanged a few pleasantries and a one short conversation with a few vampires - but for the rest of her time at Dumort she had holed up in her room. Many just forgot she was even there.

 

Most of the vampires hadn’t been fond of the idea of having a former Shadowhunter in their home, and Raphael wasn’t surprised. But, they were slowly coming to terms with Izzy’s presence, and the fact that she was now one of them. Some of them remembered how it had been for Luke, and hoped Izzy would change, just like he had. More accepting ones had even greeted her, when she had arrived in her new home.

 

“Open!” Her voice came from somewhere deep inside the room. 

 

Raphael took those words as an invitation to come inside.

 

“Hello.” He greeted her, closing the door gently behind himself, to give them more privacy.

 

Isabelle looked better now, the shadows under her eyes not as dark as they used to be. She was curled up on an armchair, though, her arms wrapped around her knees, and no book or phone in sight - she just looked as if she had been staring into space for a long time, her eyes gentle yet sad. 

 

And it worried him.

 

“May I sit down?” Raphael gestured towards an empty chair, and she gave him a silent nod.

 

On his way to the window, Raphael saw a thick, leather-bound notebook, sitting on the side-table. “Have you been taking notes?” He didn’t pick it up, not wanting to invade her privacy. He remembered when she had expressed her interest in asking a few vampires about their life, and writing down a thing or two. She even teasingly called it her ‘guide on how to be a vampire’. He offered to show her the library at Dumort, and she accepted the offer but told him she would look at the books another day.

 

“Not yet.” Izzy replied. “I will have plenty of time for that later.”

 

He acknowledged her response with a silent nod, but couldn’t tear his gaze away from the empty notebook. He hoped that living among other vampires would help Izzy, but she seemed to be avoiding them.

 

His eyes shifted back to her, and he saw her staring at the wall, her own eyes distant. 

 

“Would you like to join me downstairs and help me with something?” Raphael didn’t have anything urgent to do, but he did have a few things to take care of, and seeing her just sit there sadly, thinking God knows what, made him want to help her.

 

“I think I’ll just sit here, if you don’t mind.” She replied, still not meeting his eyes.

 

“Isabelle,” He started, looking for the right words. He couldn’t let her spiral down into her sadness - becoming a vampire wasn’t a life sentence. She could still do so much, and had a whole eternity to enjoy her life. “I heard that you have been spending all of your time here. If anything is wrong, please, talk to me. I know we don’t know each other well, but I am here to help you.”

 

She finally met his gaze. “Nothing is wrong. Nothing is...anything.” Izzy tightened her arms around her knees. “I just don’t feel like interacting with anyone.”

 

“I’m worried about you.” Raphael admitted, and Izzy stared at him, curious. 

 

“You don’t have the obligation to be.” Isabelle replied, but he could see her waiting impatiently for his answer. He took it as a good sign, even if he started to feel the pressure of having to choose his words right.

 

“Your kind and mine may have not always seen eye to eye…”

 

“To put it mildly.” She chimed it, and they both smiled.

 

“And we still have our differences. But we’re in this together now, and I’m here for you. Whether it’s me as a Clan leader or a Clan member looking out for another vampire, or me, looking out for you just because I want to - and those three aren’t contradictory - I’m here for you.”

 

They both stared at each other - Raphael anxiously awaiting Izzy’s reaction, and Isabelle taking in his words. Everything around them was still and quiet, as if the time had frozen.

 

Raphael extended his hand to Izzy. “15 minutes. That’s all I ask.”

 

She slid her hand into his, and he gave her palm a gentle squeeze, then they both stood up without a word and directed their steps towards the door, still holding hands. Izzy could feel Raphael’s thumb brush over her skin, and the touch was oddly comforting - she didn’t feel as if he had wanted anything from her in return; it was meant to bring  _ her _ comfort.

 

Isabelle hoped she could no longer blush.

 

“Where are we going?” She asked as they passed yet another door.

 

“To the kitchen. It should be empty right now, so I thought we could cook something together.”

 

“Cook?” She asked, disbelieving. “Are there any recipes with blood?”

 

“There are, but it’s beside the point. The food won’t be for us.” Seeing Izzy’s perplexed face expression, he continued. “Once a week I bring food to the local nursing home. If I make too much, the rest will go to one of the shelters.

 

Before Izzy could ask Raphael why he was doing all of it, they reached the kitchen, and he let go of her hand to rummage through the fridge. “Do you know how to make chicken fajitas?”

 

“Ohh, um.” She accepted the apron from him, that he had probably magicked from somewhere, since she hadn’t registered him going to fetch one, and put it on, tying the loose strings behind her back. “I have no idea how to cook. Even when I follow a recipe, my meals still somehow come out tasting awful.” She admitted, ashamed. Even though Alec and Max also hadn’t inherited her mother’s excellent cooking skills, Jace wasn’t half as bad; and Izzy felt much more pressure to learn how to cook, even if she had never said it out loud - even the badass Isabelle Lightwood had been affected by society's’ expectations of women.

 

“Would you rather do something else?” Raphael asked, stopping whatever he was doing.

 

“No, no, it’s okay. I enjoy being in the kitchen, and as long as you don’t let me anywhere near the spices, we should be okay.” He took an extra moment to study her face, but he must have decided that she wasn’t trying to please him, because he bent down and took out a huge bowl.

 

“We could start with something simple, then. I think a corn salad would go well with the main dish. It could be stored in the fridge, while we work on the fajitas.” Raphael said, reaching into the vegetable drawer for the corn cobs. 

 

“Sounds good. What do you want me to do?”

 

“I’ll wash those.” He said, while bringing all the corn to the sink. “Then we strip them. It’s actually the most time-consuming part of making this dish.” Raphael placed half of the corn cobs on the counter, next to Izzy. 

 

“I have never actually done this.” Isabelle said, frowning at the cob she was holding. She looked at Raphael, and saw how quickly he was working on his own corn. “We always buy canned stuff.”

 

“I usually work with fresh ingredients.” Raphael replied. “I just like to tell myself that they are more healthy.” 

 

Both of them smiled at that.

 

They continued to work on the corn in silence, Raphael occasionally taking one of Izzy’s cobs, so they would finish faster. Once they were done, and the bowl was full of kernels, Raphael once again counted how many ears they had stripped. “We need to add the other ingredients in adequate amounts.” He explained. “When I was human I could experiment with different tastes, but now, when I have no one to test the flavour on, I need to rely on the recipe and experience.”

 

“What else do we need to add?” Izzy asked, not realising the promised 15 minutes had almost passed.

 

“One cup of mayonnaise, half cup of cotija cheese, juice from four limes…” Raphael recited from memory. “Only one tablespoon of chilli powder - it will be eaten by majorly-white, elderly people - and some fresh cilantro. Do you want to take care of mixing the corn, the mayo and the lime juice, while I crumble the cheese?” 

 

Izzy nodded in reply. “Four limes?” She asked, just to be sure.

 

“Yes. Roll them on the cutting board, then cut them. That way it will be easier to squeeze the juice.” He replied, while reaching for the cheese. “And at first add only ¾ cup of mayo - we can always add more later.”

 

She watched him work; it was clear he felt confident in the kitchen, even as a vampire with a terrible taste. Seeing him so relaxed made her lose some of her own tension, and she began to enjoy herself, for the first time since she had woken up in that park.

 

“You look at home here.” She commented.

 

The corners of Raphael’s lips lifted up. “I am at home. Hotel Dumort is my home.” Izzy opened her mouth to explain, but he cut in. “I know what you meant. Yes, I do enjoy cooking.”

 

“Is this the reason why you’re giving the food away? Because you like to cook but have no use for it after?” Izzy asked, mixing the mayo with the corn.

 

“There are people in this city who needs to be fed - it doesn’t hurt that I enjoy cooking for them.” He told her.

 

Isabelle wanted to ask questions and learn more about Raphael - but his face was closed-off, and he seemed to be deep in though, his brows furrowed as he was chopping cilantro. So she focused on her task instead, respecting his choice not to delve into the topic.

 

Raphael suddenly stopped what he was doing, and put the knife down, then leaned on the counter. “You asked why I was doing it. My younger sister, Rosa, lives in the Catholic retirement home in Harlem. She has dementia and she no longer remembers who I am. Not that I am surprised she doesn’t recognise me - I left them when we were both young, and shouldn’t be looking twenty-something right now, when she’s 78 herself.” He reached for the kitchen rug, just to have something to do with his hands.

 

Izzy put down the spoon and wiped her hands on her apron, then placed one on Raphael’s shoulder.

 

“I’m sure she is still happy to see you. You are a good man.” 

 

He looked back at her, smiling sadly. “My mamá raised me a good, Catholic boy.” Instead of the air of superiority, the statement was accompanied with a small smile. “I have been fortunate to meet the kindest souls in my life - first, my mamá, Guadalupe. She taught her kids how to be good people. Then, in my darkest period, Magnus Bane found me.”

 

Izzy recognised the name of the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

 

Raphael continued. “He took me in when I couldn’t accept who I was. And what I was. An asexual vampire - a complete abomination.” His eyes looked up and met Izzy’s, the vampire scared that he had outed himself. Many people treated aces as oddities, and he couldn’t know whether she would accept him, even knowing her family supported her gay brother.

 

She could see the familiar panic rising in him, so she squeezed his shoulder again, her thumb rubbing circles into his skin through the fabric of his shirt. “I feel honoured that you trusted me with this. I won’t abuse your trust - your secret is safe with me.”

 

He swallowed, relieved. “It’s not exactly a secret among the Downworlders. But thank you.” He nodded at her, and she took back her hand.

 

“I’m sorry. I should have asked before touching you. I promise I will ask next time; I don’t want to cross your boundaries.” Isabelle said, embarrassed, then tucked a piece of hair behind her ear.

 

“It was okay, I didn’t mind. I’m good with casual touch from people I know. But thank you for thinking about it - many don’t.” He told her. 

 

They shared a small smile, before going back to their work.

 

“So, what is Magnus Bane like?” She asked, curious.

 

“He is an amazing man. Without him I would not be here - a leader of the vampire clan, and a person feeling comfortable with his sexuality. Just like my mamá, he had taught me how to love and how to be a good person. And I try to follow his example.” Raphael said, adding finishing touches to the salad. “I’ll put that in the fridge.” He motioned towards the bowl, then put a tin foil on it. “If you want to learn more about him, I could probably arrange a meeting - he is a busy man, but we try to meet every month to stay in touch. He is another member of my family.”

 

He picked up the bowl to put it in the fridge, but saw Izzy looking sadly at it. “Hey. Is something wrong?” Raphael asked, putting it back down.

 

“My family has been texting me. All of them - even dad.” Isabelle started. “But I have barely texted them back, just enough for them not to come barging in here. Mom even invited me over, but I have been telling her no. I just didn’t feel like going out.” She admitted. “And I was afraid I may hurt them. I have been thinking.” She said, leaning against the counter and facing Raphael. “I don’t remember what had happened to me during that month. What if I hurt someone, Raphael? What if I...killed someone?” She sounded small and scared, and he could feel his heart breaking. He knew her fear too well, even if he had never had amnesia.

 

“Is it okay if I hug you?” Raphael asked. He had learned that being ace made him more aware of the importance of physical contact, but also of consent, when it came to touching someone - he wouldn’t just hug someone, when he didn’t know whether or not they would want him to.

 

Izzy nodded silently, and two strong arms wrapped around her. She could feel her body start to shake again, but she was unaware she was crying until she could feel a damp spot on Raphael’s shirt touching her chin. 

 

“Shhhh.” He held her close, as he gently stroked her back, to calm her down. “There’s no use in making up different scenarios, when you don’t know what happened to you. Worrying over nothing is no good.” Raphael whispered softly. “Someone has turned you, without your consent, then took away your memories. Whatever happened, it’s all on them. You should focus on trying to remember what had happened, instead of feeling guilty for something you may not have done. There is no proof anything like that had happened. Shhh.” One of his hands traveled up, to pet Izzy’s hair, then cup her head. “If you want to help, I’ll be meeting with your brother next week, to discuss what we have found out so far. And, I promise, than when I  _ do _ find something, I will share it with you.”

 

He could feel her nod against his neck, then she leaned back in his embrace, to wipe her tears. “Sorry. I have no idea what got into me.”

 

“There is no need to apologise.” Raphael told her, looking straight into her eyes to get his message across. “You are going through rough times, and there is no shame in crying and letting it all out. Like I said, I’m here for you.”

 

“Thank you. Really, thank you for everything you’re doing.” She said, sincere. “I have no idea what I would have done without you.”

 

“I’m just happy to see you smile again.” Raphael replied.

 

“Um, I may have one more favour to ask. But, please, feel free to say no - you are already doing much.” Isabelle asked, nervous. “Would you like to company me to my mom’s? I know that there will be 4 Shadowhunters there, and a werewolf, and I know they can defend themselves, but I would still feel more at peace with a vampire present.”

 

“It would be my honour to go there with you.” Raphael replied, which made Izzy smile. “I unfortunately have plans for next week, but after that, my schedule is clear. Would it work for you?”

 

“Of course. I don’t want to interfere with your work.” She told him. “I may even feel more confident, having extra time to see whether or not I could be trusted not to anything stupid.” She added with a sad smile. “Thank you for doing this, once again.”

 

“There is no need to thank me, once again.” Raphael smiled at her softly.

 

Izzy nodded, accepting his words. “We were supposed to make those fajitas, remember? So, where should we start?” 


	4. Week 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know I skipped a week xD

Raphael was about to knock on Izzy’s door, when they opened up.

“Oh. I was about to go and tell you we should be going out soon.” She told him, not entirely surprised to see him here. During her weeks at the Dumort Izzy had learned that Raphael liked to be everywhere early, to have time to deal with any surprises that might come up; besides, he found being late extremely rude. “Actually, I just need to grab one thing and we can go now - it should already be dark.” Isabelle continued, impatient to reunite with her family. She was a little bit nervous, not knowing what might happen, but she had also missed them very much; she couldn’t remember the last time they were separated for this long. “Please, come in.”

He came inside, shutting the door behind himself, while his eyes followed her the entire time. Isabelle looked completely stunning. She was wearing a simple peach dress, that was rather casual, but worn by her it looked elegant. The delicate fabric was flowing down her legs, ending at the knees, and moved with her, as she walked across the room, to grab her purse.

Since she had come here, they had spent more time together than Raphael had expected them to. Every week, she had helped him cook for the retirement home. She had also been helping with investigating what had happened to her - not only by trying to remember things, but also by analysing different leads. What had surprised Raphael the most, was that she hadn’t tried to take over his investigation; she had listened to him and never tried to undermine his authority as the Clan leader. When she would have some ideas, she would share them with him and the rest, but had never expected them to follow through. Seeing a former Shadowhunter show respect to a Downworlder in that way, was something Raphael was still getting used to.

They had also spent some time chatting - both in larger groups, and in the privacy of their rooms. They had talked about everything and anything, discussing topics as trivial as the weather in October in the NYC, and as serious as the erasure of important Downworlder figures in Shadowhunters’ history.

And Raphael had learned a lot about Isabelle Lightwood, during that time. She was strong yet gentle. She used a lot of scientific references while explaining something, and played with her hair, when she was nervous. She hated chipped nail polish as much as Magnus did, but prefered lighter colors than him. Even if they still had heated discussions about various topics, she was surprisingly open-minded, and understood that she had been fed many lies by the Clave; she had also shown interest in learning more about the Downworlders - warlocks, werewolves, seelies and vampires.

She was full of surprises, and he would love to learn more about her.

“You look beautiful.” Raphael told Izzy, as she walked back to him.

“Thank you. You look quite handsome yourself.” She replied, admiring his suit. It was dark blue, almost black, but from up close one could see the delicate floral pattern embroidered into the fabric. She couldn’t help but notice that their colors oddly fit. “I remember this jacket. You wore it to the Institute ball.”

He stared back at her, surprised that she even remembered. It had been months since that event had taken place. It had been Alec’s idea to organise a ball at the Institute - a rather old-fashioned initiative - to celebrate the progress the Shadowhunters and Downworlders had made in becoming more united and building peace and respect. If you asked Raphael, the progress wasn’t huge, but at least things seemed to be going in the right direction. How far it would go, was yet to be seen. The vampire didn’t omit the fact, though, that the guest list was selected with caution, the Institute inviting only those who weren’t opposing the line of current politics.

At least there were no fights.

“Now I know that my memory isn’t so bad - I remember thinking you looked great in it, and now I can see you indeed look stunning.” Izzy continued, tucking a strand of her behind her ear. “You didn’t have to dress this elegant; it’s a simple family dinner. But it suits you.”

“Thank you.” Raphael replied, smiling. “I must admit, I’m surprised you remember what I wore back then. I didn’t expect you to remember we have met there. It was a busy night, after all.” 

The last sentence had a slight bitterness to it.

“You’ve made quite an impression.” Isabelle told him, with a playful glint in her eyes. “I remember you walking up to me to ask me for a dance, and how everyone was staring at us as if we lost our minds, when we swayed to the music. I don’t think there were many couples dancing; and certainly none of them was of a Downworlder-Shadowhunter kind. I also remember how you thanked me for the dance, after. Or how you offered to bring me a drink before Aline swept me away somewhere. You were so charming, you made me feel like a princess.” Izzy admitted shyly.

“You did look like a princess.” Raphael complimented her. He had to admit, all her compliments were making him feel...something. But he didn’t dare to hope she meant anything more by them - it was just a friendly chat. “And you were the only Shadowhunter there, besides your brother, who actually took time to talk with us. And not to us - with us. I may not have trusted you then, or think too highly of your kind, but I wanted to meet the famous Isabelle Lightwood.”

“And how did she do?” Izzy asked, her tone slightly teasing.

“She made a good first impression, and I remember that night fondly. Even if I’ve never heard from her again.” 

It was clear how that admission made both of them feel uncomfortable so he decided to change the subject.

“The Sun is already down. We should get going.” Raphael suggested, offering Isabelle his arm. 

She accepted it with a small smile. “Would it be okay if we walked from here? I’ve heard that you often travel on your motorcycle, and I sincerely hope that one day you could give me a ride, but I haven’t been outside for so long, and I’d love to get some fresh air. If it’s not an inconvenience, that is.”

“Not at all. Today’s weather is perfect for a stroll.” Raphael replied, and they walked out of the room.  
\------------------------------------------------  
“Oh, what is taking Alec so long? His food will get cold.” Maryse wondered aloud, glancing towards the kitchen where her eldest disappeared 10 minutes ago. 

“I’ll go get him.” Raphael offered.

“You don’t need to. I can get my own son. Besides, you are a guest.” Maryse replied.

“It won’t be a problem. I was about to grab us two more glasses of blood anyway.” Raphael insisted. Maryse had stocked her fridge with bags of blood, hoping that Izzy would visit her more often. At first, Izzy was reluctant to eat with them, but no one batted an eyelash at the two vampires drinking blood - Max even jokingly asked Izzy to let him taste it. Raphael could see her relax more and more, feeling more confident about being around them, and it warmed his heart. He wished any vampire could be so lucky.

“Thank you.” Maryse said, smiling widely at him.

He stood up, and walked the short distance to the kitchen, where he spotted a distressed-looking Alec Lightwood, frowning down at his phone.

“Is everything alright?” Raphael asked, out of politeness. It started Alec, who had almost dropped his cell.

“It’s a good thing you are here. Look.” Alexander handed his phone to Raphael, so the vampire could read the messages on the screen. “Our hot tip led us to a place where she could have been kept captive.” The night Isabelle had been found, Alec had chosen a small group of trustworthy Shadowhunters, to investigate her case. “ The thing is, there are no traces of vampires, so they had to be there before she had turned. Moreover…” The Shadowhunter continued. “from what we’ve gathered, the vampires had nothing to do with changing her. All the clues are leading us to believe that it was warlock’s job.”

Raphael handed Alec his phone back. “So, what you’re saying is, the Clan members are innocent.”

“Most likely, yes.” Alec replied. “No, sorry, I mean - yes. Everything points out to a warlock. Raphael, I’m really sorry.” 

Those words really got Raphael’s attention. 

“I assumed that it was one of you, even when you told me not to jump to conclusions. Knowing me, I probably let you know just how much I disagreed with you, even if I didn’t voice it aloud. Actually, I probably acted like a dick.”

Raphael huffed out an amused laugh, and smiled at Alec, which made the shadowhunter smile back in return. “Apology accepted. But know that I will not have you disrespect me again.”

“Noted.” Alec replied, then put his phone back in the pocket of his jeans. “Izzy has been teaching me stuff lately. Apparently I still have a lot to learn, both as a Shadowhunter, and a leader.”

“At least you are a good brother.” Raphael commented.

Jace chose that exact moment to enter the kitchen. “If more people go missing, Luke is going to send out a search party.” He teased. “Don’t mind me, I’m only here for the beer.”

“Actually, I think you could stay.” Alec looked at Raphael for confirmation, and the vampire nodded. “We had a breakthrough on Izzy’s case. The newest lead makes us believe it has been a warlock that had kidnapped and changed her, and not a vampire, as some of us previously believed - namely, me.” Alec clarified, after a pointed look from Raphael.

“I’m actually relieved it was a warlock.” Raphael admitted. “I will still be more than happy to help with the investigation, but now I feel less pressured to find whoever has done this. Don’t get me wrong, this is still a terrible thing, and I want to catch whoever is responsible, so they won’t do it again. But now I don’t have to worry how to punish one of my own in a way that the Clave would find suitable, yet won’t interfere with Clan rules.” 

Both Shadowhunters winced, being criticised like that, but they didn’t try to defend their ways. 

“At our next Council meeting we will discuss whoever should handle the punishment, and, if needed, I will hand the warlock over to their own kind. Or, to you, if you decide it would be a better option. Leave the Clave to me.” Alec said, then lifted his hand to rub at his temples. 

“Should I assume you will take care of any witch hunts directed at my Clan?” Raphael asked, with a raised eyebrow.

“I wouldn’t be so sure.” Jace chimed in. “Don’t get me wrong, Alec. I will stand by you and praise your work as the Head of the Institute on every occasion, but you can’t control every Shadowhunter in this city. I heard people accusing you,” Jace directed that at Raphael. “of killing her. The Shadowhunters never liked you, because you refused to back down, but since the ball, they like you even less. Everyone has seen you and Izzy, and that dance has been the talk of the month. Now, when they have the opportunity to put the blame on you and punish you for something, they won’t back down. Especially after they find out the famous Isabelle Lightwood isn’t missing, but has been changed.”

“I will do everything in my power to spare you any inconveniences. I will make sure the Clave would have to go through me to get to you.” Alec promised.

Raphael didn’t quite think he could believe his assurances, but not because he thought he couldn’t trust the man; he was just too old to believe that Clave wouldn’t play dirty, given the chance, to take down a prominent Downworld figure.

“Thank you. Just keep me updated on everything that is happening, so I can prepare to deal with things.”

“You have my word.” Alec replied.

“Does this mean you are finally going to tell them she is alive?” Jace asked Alec, and Raphael could see the tension between them - it had to be the topic of arguments between the brothers. 

“I can’t exactly hide her forever, just to protect her, can I?” Alec replied, clearly accepting the scenario of letting the world know. “I just need to think what would be the best way to tell them. I don’t want her to suffer any consequences of my own action.”

“What if they try to find her and test her?” Jace wondered aloud, even though he was in favour of lettin the world know his sister was alive.

“I highly doubt they will.” Raphael chimed in. “Remember what happened to Luke? No one cared to investigate what had happened to him, once they learned he became a werewolf. They just turned their backs on him and pretended he had never existed. I don’t think that mindset has changed much - no offense.” 

Alec pressed his lips together, but nodded in agreement.

“No one will come knocking at Dumort and demand us to release her. The most you can do right now is to make sure the rest of your family and friends won’t turn away from her.” Both Alec and Jace nodded at that. “She is going through a rough time, and she needs you to be there for her.”

At their guilty looks, Raphael continued. “You are doing a good job, don’t get me wrong. You are showing a tremendous support to her right now. And she knows you love her.”

“Do you think that now, when everyone will know, she could get back to the Institute and be with us?” Jace asked.

“It’s not up to me to decide - it’s her choice. But both of you need to understand one thing; she would never be the same. And you need to accept it. She is still your sister, your beloved Isabelle. But she isn’t the Isabelle you both know. She has gone through something, and right now, neither we nor she know what had happened. But, one thing is clear - she is a vampire now. It isn’t the end of her life, but it does change a lot of things. You will never fully understand what it’s like to be a her, and I don’t wish you to; because, to do so, you need to live through it. And I know you both want what’s best for her, but what was good for her when she was a Shadowhunter, may not be good for her now. Just accept that your sister has changed - that she might no longer live at the Institute, or go on missions with you, or may be looked down by others, just because she no longer has angel blood - then show her that you still love and support her the same.”

Both of the Lightwoods were just standing there, clearly in thought. Raphael understood it was a lot to process, and that change may not come overnight, but he sincerely hoped they would take his lesson to heart. 

“I’ll go out and grab Izzy. She would want to hear the news.” Jace said, breaking the silence.

“Or we can just share everything with the rest in the living room, since they will find out anyway, sooner or later.” Alec suggested.

“Let’s lead the way, then.” Jace motioned for his brother to go first, and patted his shoulder as he was passing him, to show that he had no hard feelings.

Isabelle was indeed lucky to have them.  
\---------------------------------------------  
“I still can’t believe how well it went.” Izzy commented, smiling widely. They were walking back to the Dumort, their joined hands swinging between their bodies. Somewhere along the way, Isabelle had took off her heels - ‘They may be pretty, but this model is super uncomfortable,’ she said - and now Raphael was carrying them for her, being a ‘true gentleman’, as she called him. “When we were parting Alec gave me a hug. It was the first time he had hugged me since they had found me.”

Raphael just kept smiling at her, listening to her words. He didn’t remember when they had started holding hands, but he didn’t mind it one bit.

“And it will be sooooo good to finally be able to go out. Jace suggested we hit Hunter’s Moon, and I haven’t been there in ages. I missed it all so much.”

“When you’re there, please, do something with that brother of yours. If I have to sit through one more night of him making gooey eyes at the bartender, I will never go there again.” Raphael commented.

“Jace and Maia? Angels, a lot has changed. I need to text Max to give me all the details, and tell me how serious it is.”

“Oh, I can tell you that.” Raphael replied, half-annoyed, half-amused. “It’s bad. Really, bad. Because she is looking at him the exact same way, and neither have noticed.”

Izzy giggled. She was happy, though, that her brother had finally found someone, even if she found his misery amusing. “It indeed sounds like a good reason for an intervention.”

A street musician was playing on a saxophone, on the other side of the street. Isabelle had seen how Raphael kept glancing at him throughout their conversation, his eyes full of joy, yet wishful. With a secret smile, she tugged at Raphael’s hand, then looked around for any cars. Once she deemed the streets empty, she pulled him behind hr, crossing the road.

A small group surrounded the musician, but from where they were standing, the vampires could still see him. Raphael closed his eyes, enjoying a tune that was completely unfamiliar to Isabelle. After the song had changed, he looked at her, then brought their joined hands up to kis mouth, to place a feather-like kiss on her palm. “Thank you.”

They just stayed like that, looking into each others’ eyes, until the street musician broke their bubble.

“This one’s for the happy couple.” He announced, while pointing out to them with his instrument. 

Isabelle looked down to hide her smile, but once she glanced back up at Raphael, she saw he was sad.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” She said, taking a step back from him. She tried to untangle their hands, to get further away, but she held her hand firmly.

“No.” Raphael said, his voice pleading. “I do want it, Isabelle. I want to be with you.” He whispered, careful not to gather the attention of the others. For his next words, his voice went even more quiet. “But I’m ace. I can’t give you everything you deserve.” It had taken him years, and help from others, to become confident in his own sexuality, and not feel as if he was lesser. But, right now, when faced with a very real possibility of being with Isabelle Lightwood, some of his fears had come back.

“That’s not true.” Izzy replied, shaking her head. “You are more than I deserve. You are smart, caring and loyal. You have the biggest heart. You took me in, even though I have been a Shadowhunter, and made sure I felt at home at Dumort.” She squeezed their joined hands. “Being ace does not mean you lack anything. I started to fall in love with you, the way you were, knowing who you are. And I still fell hard. Because you are the most amazing person, and relationships are so much more than sex.”

Raphael looked back at her, tears slowly gathering in the corners of his eyes. He reached with his free hand to wipe them off, then brought that hand to cup Izzy’s face. She leaned into his touch, but he could still feel how tense she was.

“And I fell for you.” He said.

Raphael believed that the smile he got in return would be etched in his memory for eternity.


End file.
